The War With Grandpa

Peter waits and waits for Grandpa to strike back. He’s in a state of suspense and feels like Damocles—an Ancient Greece figure who had a sword hung over his head by a strand of hair. He also feels like he’s waiting to go to the dentist or about to take a test. To enhance the terror, Grandpa teases Peter. He says his grandson looks nervous, and he advises “patience.” The mind games get to Peter, and one day, he leaves a schoolbook at home.

Peter’s situation reminds him of Grandpa’s “joke.” A man lives below another man who, before bed, only removes one of his shoes. The man below can’t sleep; instead, he waits for the other shoe to drop.

Peter’s mom is baking something with cinnamon, so the house smells wonderful. Jenny was helping her mom, but now she’s in the living room with Grandpa and Peter, and she wants to play Monopoly with them.

Grandpa coughs, and Peter gets mad, accusing her of stealing his game and infringing upon his rights not to play Monopoly. He tries to take the box from her, but Jenny keeps it. She’ll play with Grandpa. When she opens the box, she discovers the pieces are gone. She reads the note from Grandpa—“the Old Man”—and suspects Grandpa is tricking Peter. Grandpa denies it, and Peter says Steve is “the Old Man.”

Grandpa tells Peter to get the pieces, and he excuses himself to get a sweater. The pair meet outside Grandpa’s room, and he gives Peter the missing Monopoly pieces, and Peter gives Grandpa his watch back.

The other shoe drops, and Grandpa strikes back: He moves Peter’s alarm forward 15 minutes (it goes off at 7:15, not 7:00), and he takes Peter’s slippers and his toothbrush (in a note, he advises Peter to use his finger). He also displaces Peter’s clothes: His underwear is in the hall closet, his socks are under the bathroom sink, his shirts are inside out, and his shoelaces are on the kitchen countertop.

Grandpa laughs at his grandson’s anxiety and teasingly asks him how his morning has gone. Peter doesn’t think it’s funny. Grandpa reminds him that war is “hell.”

Sally wonders why Peter left his shoelaces on the countertop, and Jenny reminds Peter that he’s running late. After scarfing down a bowl of Cheerios, Peter gets his backpack, but his books are missing. Peter grabs them from the luggage in the storage room in the hall, making it to school as his homeroom teacher takes attendance. Steve asks Peter why he’s late, and Peter tells him he won’t believe what happened.

Due to Grandpa’s psychological warfare, Peter forgets his lunch. Steve gives him half of his apple, and Billy gives him half of his liverwurst sandwich, which they both hate. Steve also offers Peter half of his milk, but only after he drinks the first half. A kinder student gives Peter a peanut-butter cookie.

Peter tells his two friends about Grandpa’s strike, and Steve and Billy praise Grandpa’s attack, but they also encourage Peter to strike back. Peter will launch a counterattack, but if it doesn’t work, he’ll surrender and live in his third-floor room. He doesn’t want to endure further attacks from Grandpa. The war isn’t “fun.”

To keep Grandpa in suspense, Peter waits to launch his attack. He teasingly asks Grandpa how he’s doing and tells him to “just wait.”

On Friday night, he sets his alarm and wakes up in the middle of the night to sneak into Grandpa’s room and steal his dentures, or “false teeth.” He carefully hides them in a garment bag in an attic closet. Peter calls his attack a “disgusting trick,” but he sleeps peacefully.

On Saturday morning, Grandpa confronts Peter in his room. He’s upset and can’t speak without his teeth. Peter has to translate Grandpa’s words: He wants his teeth back. Peter will give them back if he surrenders. An unbearable sadness overtakes Grandpa and makes Peter want to cry. He feels like a lowlife and runs to get Grandpa’s teeth.

Peter tells Grandpa there’s no more war. He feels shame, and he asks Grandpa for forgiveness. Peter thinks about how their war mimics real wars. People keep doing worse acts to one another until one person drops a bomb.

Peter apologizes, but Grandpa accepts some of the blame. He’s a grownup, but he liked playing war—it helped him get out of his funk. Grandpa also thinks Peter’s parents are at fault. They should have discussed the room situation with both Peter and Grandpa. Communication could have been better. Poor communication also causes wars.

Grandpa praises Peter’s war tactics. Peter admits defeat. Grandpa confirms his loss, but he only lost “by the skin of [his] teeth” (175).

While Jenny, Arthur, and Sally go grocery shopping, Peter and Grandpa think of a solution to the room dilemma. The kitchen and porch won’t work, but maybe the basement is an option. They inspect his dad’s office, and Grandpa realizes he can fix it and turn it into his “little apartment.” It’s a fair amount of work, but Grandpa used to build houses, so crafting an apartment isn’t daunting. Besides, Peter can help him.

Arthur, Sally, and Grandpa talk about turning the basement office into Grandpa’s apartment. The main concern is money, but Grandpa has money saved, so he can use that.

Grandpa hires two men he used to work with, and Peter helps too. Grandpa shows him how to hammer a nail, pull a wire through a wall, and avoid electrical shocks. After about six weeks, Grandpa has a new apartment, with a rug, a stove, an easy chair, and a color TV.

With Grandpa’s things in the basement, Peter moves his stuff back into his second-floor room. Grandpa makes a wooden sign for Peter’s door, and it reads, “Pete’s Place.”

Peter thanks Mrs. Klein for encouraging him to stick with his story—he wanted to quit multiple times. He also thanks her for giving him extra time to complete it—it took him the entire semester. When he grows up, maybe he’ll be a writer.

Peter got used to writing a chapter in his dad’s office after dinner. Some chapters took a week, but some took longer. Writing was fun but also difficult. He felt “dumb” when he couldn’t find the right words, but thinking and no little sister made the right words eventually appear.

Starting to write is the toughest step, but then it gets easier. Peter is sad: His story is over, so what will he do tomorrow night after dinner? He could start another story.